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Love is Not Rude

Nothing irritates others as quickly as being rude. Rudeness is unnecessarily saying or doing things that are unpleasant for another person to be around. To be rude is to act unbecoming, embarrassing, or irritating. Rude behavior may seem insignificant to the person doing it, but it’s unpleasant to those on the receiving end.

Genuine love minds its manners, so embracing this concept could add some fresh air to your marriage. Good manners express to your spouse that you value them enough to exercise some self-control when you are around them. When you allow love to change your behavior – even in the smallest way, you restore an atmosphere of honor to your relationship. If you practice good etiquette you raise the respect level of the environment around you.

For the most part, the etiquette you use at home is much different than the kind you employ around your friends or others. You may not be speaking kindly or doing some pouting around the house, but if someone comes to the front door, you open it all smiles. So if you dare to love, you’ll also want to give your best to your spouse. It’s something to remember in any unhealthy situation if you don’t let love motivate you to make needed changes in your behavior, (alone or with your spouse) the quality of your marriage relationship will suffer for it.

Women tend to be much better at certain types of manners than men, though they can be rude in other ways. And men especially need to learn this important lesson. Psalm 112:5 says, “A man of discretion will find out what is appropriate, then adjust his behavior accordingly.

There are two main reasons why people are rude: ignorance and selfishness! Neither is a good thing. A child is born ignorant, but an adult displays ignorance at another level. You know the rules, but you can be blind to how you break them or be too self-centered to care. In most cases you may not realize how unpleasant you can be to live with. The following are ways to test yourself:

  1. How does your spouse feel about the way you speak and act around them?

  2. How does your behavior affect your spouse’s sense of worth and self-esteem?

  3. Would your spouse say you are a blessing or that you are condescending and embarrassing?

If you are thinking that your spouse and not you is the one who needs work in this area, you are the one likely suffering from a bad case of ignorance, with a secondary condition of selfishness.

Luke 6:31 – Treat your spouse the same way you want to be treated. Be as considerate to your spouse as you are to strangers and coworkers. Consider what your spouse already asked you to do or not do. And if in doubt – ask!

Love is not rude, but lifts you to a higher standard. Don’t be rude. Be in love.

(My thoughts with The Love Dare, pp. 21-23) Sherry Miller

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