Grace from the Outside

You don’t possess all the grace you need for yourself or your spouse. You both need more grace than there is in the relationship. A couple who exists in a bubble, without others supporting them could be in trouble at some level.

There will be times that, through no one’s fault, you won’t have enough grace for each other. You may be drained from work, fatigue or stress. There will be other times when you are feeling alienated and disconnected from each other. Opps! Sorry, this is the norm and to be expected.

During these periods of disconnection, don’t pull away and don’t pretend to feel things you don’t feel. These approaches don’t work. The real solution lies in humility. Admit your need and get more grace from outside your relationship. Other people can also be a major source of the grace your marriage needs.

The most connected couples are not just connected to each other, but also to others who are caring, safe, full of grace, and supportive of the relationship with your spouse. You won’t weaken your marriage by having other relationships with Christian couples who are connected with God. And after connecting with those other couples you can come back to your relationship with a renewed desire and love toward your spouse. It will fill you up from the inside. Oftentimes it will be because you can see more clearly through the eyes of friends. And sometimes it will be because you can now see your spouse as God sees.

Don’t just think you must try harder, or commit more. It’s so much better to receive, experience, and lavish grace on each other. Grace cannot be administered until the need is admitted. And admitting takes humility.

So make it a habit to be generous with grace. YOU CAN NEVER OVERGRACE YOUR RELATIONSHIP. Grace will go a long way in rescuing your love life. (My thoughts with Rescue Your Love Life, p.p. 80-81).


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