Acceptance, Limits and Security

We talked about forgiveness and how important it is in your marital bond to survive. Acceptance is similar to your need for forgiveness. You need to feel accepted regardless of your imperfections. And you have to admit we all have them, though we don’t like to admit it. We are all challenged physically, spiritually, intellectually, emotionally, and in a number of other ways that we don’t notice about our self. In some of the above list we are more challenged than in others listed. As a result, we tend to try and hide who we really are. For intimacy and love to occur, you need to reveal your true, naked self. That though, won’t happen until you have the assurance of being totally accepted. Feeling unaccepted is hurtful and builds insecurities within you.

Limits. We often get out of line, even when we don’t intend to. Too often we never see when we are wrong. At other times we do know we are acting in a wrong way, but we turn an open eye and don’t care. You need limits! This is where correction and discipline are two gifts you can give each other. Because having a good relationship will provide those for you. In marriage, limits are essential to keeping love alive. Who doesn’t want a marriage where love is alive and going well? Negative behavior destroys love. You need to express limits, and let each other know when something wrong is happening. This is where you need to communicate…….and do it in love.

Security. It’s always nice to know that your spouse’s love towards you isn’t going away. Marriage is for a lifetime, and for love to grow in your marriage you need to know that your spouse’s love is secure, unconditional, and forever. A secure commitment, one that preserves the connection through all sorts of times, is so essential. Work on these suggestions and turn your marriage around; if in fact that is what is needed in your marriage (My thoughts with Rescue Your Love Life, p. 47).

Sherry