One Is Almost a Majority

Do you have a spouse who you think is unwilling to deal with a specific problem, or maybe any problems that may arise and cause dissention in your home? There is a lot one mate can do all by themselves to help and make changes. If you haven’t already done so, identify the problem. Is it a problem with connection, irresponsibility, selfishness, or a bad attitude or maybe bad behavior?

You may feel helpless and alone in your marriage. And often times you think – nothing can change until my spouse wants to change. Fortunately, that is not always true. There is a lot one can do all by yourself to help make changes. You don’t have to wait until your spouse is ready to get moving. There are some things you can do to help in getting the process started. To understand why this is true read on.

A scientific theory called chaos theory says in simplified form, that a little change in one part of a system can make a big change in another. An example of this theory is the butterfly effect, which says that from the beating of a butterfly’s wings in one part of the world, a tornado can be caused in another part of the world. The idea is that changes ripple throughout a system affecting lots of parts. Maybe you’ve heard about the 14 wolves that were released at Yellowstone National Park and how it changed the water flow of the river, plus multiple other changes occurred because of the wolves presence in the park (google that or find it in the Reader’s Digest). So fascinating.

This theory also applies to your emotional connection. You and your spouse are in a system called a relationship. Your lives intersect in many places: physically, socially, financially, emotionally, domestically, spiritually, and in many other ways. It’s all because your lives are connected and bonded. If one person changes, the relationship changes.

You should not try to control your spouse. You need to change your own patterns in a healthy way that won’t work against the relationship. The changes you will make will affect your spouse and you will notice the positive response. Isn’t that what this is all about, connecting in a positive way?

The chaos theory says that you must not give in to hopelessness and helplessness. By doing even small, but loving things you can have a positive effect in your home. As you bring light, love, truth, and health to the relationship, it exposes problems and helps bring about positive changes. Read Ephesians 5:13-14. (My thoughts with Rescue Your Love Life, pp. 32-33).

Sherry