Love is not Jealous

Jealousy is one of the strongest drives known to man. It means “to burn with an intense fire.” There are two forms of jealousy: a legitimate jealousy based upon love, and an illegitimate jealousy based upon envy. Legitimate jealousy sparks when someone you love, who belongs to you, turns his or her heart away and replaces you with someone else. If this happens there may be a justified, jealous anger because of the love you have for your spouse. You long to have back what is rightfully yours. The Bible describes God as having this kind of righteous jealousy for His people. It’s not that He is envious of us, wishing He had what we have (since He already owns everything). It’s that He deeply longs for us, desiring for us to keep Him as our first love. He doesn’t want us to let anything take precedence over Him in our hearts. The Bible warns us not to worship anything but Him because “the Lord your God is a consuming fire, a jealous God.” (Deuteronomy 4:24). Illegitimate jealousy is in opposition to love. It’s the one that is rooted in selfishness. This is to be jealous of someone, to be “moved with envy.” Jealousy is a common struggle. It is sparked when someone else upstages you and gets something you want. This can be very painful depending upon how selfish you are. Instead of congratulating them, you fume in anger and think ill of them. If you’re not careful, jealousy slithers like a viper into your heart and strikes your motivations and relationships. It can poison you from living the life of love God intended. If you don’t diffuse your anger by learning to love others, you may eventually begin plotting against them. You don’t usually get jealous of disconnected strangers. The ones you’re tempted to be jealous of are primarily in the same arena with you. They work in your office, play in your league, run in your circles, or live in your house. If you aren’t careful, jealousy can infect your marriage. When you got married, you were given the role of becoming your spouse’s biggest cheerleader and captain of his or her fan club. Both of you became one with the other and were to share in the enjoyment of the other. But, if selfishness rules, any good thing happening to only one of you can be a catalyst for envy rather than congratulations. Because love is not selfish and puts others first, it refuses to let jealousy in. It leads you to celebrate the successes of your spouse rather than resenting them. A loving husband doesn’t mind his wife being better at something, having more fun, or getting more applause. He sees her as completing him, not competing with him. When the husband receives praise, he publicly thanks his wife for her support in aiding his own success. He won’t brag in such a way that may cause her to resent him. On the other hand, a loving wife will be the first to cheer for her man when he wins. She does not compare her weaknesses to his strengths. She will throw a celebration instead of a pity party. Let love, humility, and gratefulness destroy any jealousy that springs up in your heart. Always let your mate’s successes draw you closer together. This will let you show genuine love (The Love Dare, Day 8). Sherry