Detachment

No one is perfect, and no marriage is perfect. In your marriage you will both continue to make mistakes and often slip up in your attempts to make a great relationship. But, you can go a long way toward safety, closeness, and intimacy when you root out problems that may be underlying the repeated bad patterns in your marriage. When you resolve issues, you will see changes and enjoy progress. For weeks to follow different problems couples deal with each day within their marriage will be addressed. Each one will be something to think seriously about. There will be things to share with your spouse so that communication as a couple can be open. DETACHMENT. Have you ever been with someone who was physically present but a million miles away emotionally? Their body was in the room, but their mind was elsewhere. This describes detachment, which is the tendency to disconnect from a relationship. The detached partner will either distance him or herself mentally, or focus on something else. This will cause the other person in the relationship to feel alone and disconnected. Detachment is a sign of relational immaturity. Grownups need to have the ability to connect at deep and emotional levels with themselves and others. This is the basis of love itself; to be connected. When you tend toward detachment, you are not mature and complete in the ability to love and fully connect. Detachment hurts. Detachment causes insecurity. Detachment needs to be addressed and someone in the relationship needs to grow up. Now’s a good time to check your maturity level (My thoughts with Rescue Your Love Life, page 20). Sherry