Over Come Our Fears

There are scriptures that tell us not to be afraid. There are marriages where fear lurks within hearts and homes are not what God intended them to be if you look back and see how happy the couple was on the day of their vows. But time has passed and life takes a turn and even in the best of marriages there is exhibited lack of faith through fear of being open and vulnerable with one another. These feelings are typical of the adjustments every husband and wife face during their married life together. Often couples disguise their fear behind a variety of masks. Many are public personas they think they take off at home. An example could be a businessman or woman in a professional field who wear the badge of being competent, arrogant, or powerful, that wear “A, don’t mess with me” mask. Now think about the problems this would create if that person forgot to take the mask off before arriving home! It’s important to be sensitive and aware of our own mask and the ways it can effect communication. Removing a fearful mask helps us to be less of a threat to our spouse and allows us to share ourself more intimately with one another. In order to feel truly loved and accepted, we need to reveal to our spouse they have nothing to fear when being together. For better or worse, our spouse is married to us; and we should feel we can reveal who we really are by using careful tones. By God’s grace we can be a person who is kind and caring. But you must be a person seeking for His grace so you’ll have a loving spirit. It’s by encountering ourselves we can best understand our motivations and see what really influences our thinking and actions. God knows you just as you are; you can’t hide anything from Him. So why try and control or bring fear to your spouse? You owe it to your spouse to discover and uncover yourself to him or her. It’s a good thing to determine your core mask: the one you wear more than any other. If you can identify that mask, you can learn a great deal about yourself and your life together as a couple. You should never feel like you need to hide anything from your spouse. Again, effective communication is a key to a successful marriage. As you learn to take your masks off, you will become less fearful toward your spouse. Be vulnerable and honest so your compassion and intimacy with each other will grow. You might say that this is harder than you think, to fix such a situation. Sometimes it is hard. But asking God for the strength to overcome self will be your biggest first step. Stay on your knees and keep asking Him for strength as often as you feel your situation seems impossible. He hears; He cares, and fears can be overcome (My thoughts with This Love We Share, January 5, 6). Sherry