Less Criticism and More Affirmation

Do you often criticize or voice affirmations to your spouse? How can one learn to affirm rather than criticize their mate? "What causes wars, and what causes fightings among you?" James 4:1. By first remembering that love is a decision.....not a feeling. Yes, feelings often get in our way and we must put a check on those feelings. We choose to love our spouse, and affirming your devotion to them is an act of love. A starting point to a step in the right direction is by trying to understand yourself better. Are you positive in your approach to things, or mostly negative? Why?.....What can you do to be a (more) positive person? "Let all things be done for edification." 1 Corinthians 14:26. You should find that the closer you are to your spouse, the less likely you'll be critical. By being emotionally and spiritually close, you will see you tend to have a more affirming attitude. Some couples find that being physically close for long periods of time leads to needing a break; possibly by doing something you enjoy by yourself. Although, there are couples who have a close relationship with God, find being together more frequently doesn't create division in their relationship, or a desire to be apart. Finding creative ways to compliment each other and looking for the good points in your spouse rather than the things you want to change about them, leads to a positive atmosphere. You can, through prayer, ask the Lord to show you ways to be more affirming. He has great ideas and will guide you if you seek him for help. Commit yourself to be more affirming; it's exactly what God wants for you and your spouse. Decide not to be defensive or offensive, but yield to one another in loving ways. If there's deep rooted anger or hurts in your marital bond, start mending by asking God in prayer for help. "Commit yourself to the Lord and trust in Him." Psalms 37:5. It's a positive direction as to how to begin mending attitudes of criticism (My thoughts with This Love We Share, September 2). Sherry