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The True Inner Beauty of a relationship

Let's talk about the inner beauty of a woman and about what should be the proper heart attitude of a man's feeling about his wife, and how his every day interactions with her means so much to her. A woman often feels secure when she knows she looks good. Outward adornment can do a lot for a woman's self esteem. Though outward appearances are pleasing to the eye it's also important to think about the inner beauty and that God too is far more interested in a woman's inner beauty. Both require time and the nurturing for the inner self development, and is best accomplished through daily involvement in Scripture and prayer for acquiring a humble heart. In our society there is a tremendous imbalance between the amount of time we spend on outward appearances and the time we devote to inward development. Many women base their feelings of self-worth on how they look, whereas the true basis of self-worth should be on how God views them. A woman is to use her God-given gifts and talents to the best of her ability by not focusing on herself, but by asking God how she can glorify Him. When she does this she will become a beautiful person. Gentleness is an attitude of thoughtfulness and servant hood. It means being willing to see God's pattern for her marriage as the healthiest way to develop personal security. It means reflecting the presence of Jesus in her marriage. A woman with a gentle spirit is one who has confidence as a result of relying upon God and using this gift to serve others. On the other hand the husband is responsible in choosing a proper heart attitude toward his wife. It's good that a man compliment his wife now and again so as to boost her self esteem. He is to be considerate as the initiator in initiating his actions in a loving manner. Some husbands are passive in their leadership roles and capabilities and may need to learn how to express heartfelt kindnesses of expressions that their wives need to hear coming from their lips. Don't let another man be the only one telling your wife she looks good. Taking responsibility and initiative is part of a husband's calling. He needs to seek to know, to inquire and or investigate how he can please his wife. He should be an explorer and set out on a lifetime expedition to discover his wife's likes, dislikes, needs, the way in which she would like her needs met, her love language, her strengths, weaknesses, moods, her sense of timing, and even her fears. He is to then take all of this into consideration when he interacts with her. That list may seem a bit overwhelming to a man, but in one word it spells love. To keep your love alive often means stepping out of your comfort zone. When a man truly loves God he will know how to deal with what sometimes seems to be his complicated wife. To be fair, no man is a mind reader, so it is helpful when wives share their specific likes and dislikes with their husbands. And likewise, he is to share with her. In other words, communication is vitally important. Both will deeply appreciate it when they can really listen to each other rather than merely tolerating viewpoints expressed. When a husband is learning to respond to his wife from his heart, his challenge is to attempt to see things from his wife's perspective and to be understanding of her uniqueness. Likewise in flipping the coin a wife needs to read her husbands moods. When it becomes obvious to the wife or husband that it is the goal to please the other, it is helpful that you recognize the attempts to enhance your marriage by affirming with them how pleasing it is they have an interest in living according to how God desires their marriage to be (Mostly my thoughts with quotes from Quiet Times for Couples, pages 166 and 167). When all is said and done there is truly no marriage that is happier than the one that relies on God as their formula for a happy and healthy home. I speak from the heart; my marriage, a living testament. Sherry

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